You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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