How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
