If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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