I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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