I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
