I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
