They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
