it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
