How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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