so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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