We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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