I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
