im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
