she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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