i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
