What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
