Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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