I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
