remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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