I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
