you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
