If i come over, it means nothing
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
