ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
