Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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