Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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