Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
