I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
