I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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