Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
