ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
