Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
