just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she peed on how many people?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
we're so committed to being not committed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize