She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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