We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
