so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
