It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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