I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I need moral support for this bender
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
