WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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