Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
