it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
