Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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