you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
