no, he came in my armpit
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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