there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She told me I should be a condom model.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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