I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
