i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
