their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
