Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
