Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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