you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize