Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.

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(631): View more from New York

I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

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(281): View more from Texas

thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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(916): View more from California

Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(681): View more from West Virginia

Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.

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(415): View more from California

I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.

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