take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
