the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
