my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
