WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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