he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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