Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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