Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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