Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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