Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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