I wanna passion pit in your ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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