Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
