I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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