yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize