All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
