You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
