I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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