I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
