At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
