She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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