drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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