I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
